Loneliness

Sometimes when I'm laying down at nights, I can't help think about how lonely all of us really are. I know a lot of people are like me - hold in a lot of emotions/secrets to themselves. Even if we really want to share everything to someone, it's impossible for us to even think of where to begin. That's why there's God. Only He knows all our motives and actions and what we want to share but cannot put it into words. He fills the emptiness that is left by this world...but we need to first turn to Him. I believe having this feeling of loneliness motivates us to draw closer to Him, knowing that He can fill the void that has been missing all along...

...as with many things in this world, I guess it's just another blessing in disguise.

When you want to cry but have no one to turn to -- bow your knees.

Rethinking our concepts

I can't speak for others, but often time, I have the mentality of "the end of man is the beginning of God" concept in my head. Why not? It makes sense. When we are pushed to the edge of the cliff with no where else to go, that is when we finally kneel down sincerely, wholeheartedly and fully rely on God. End of man is the beginning of God.

Boy, was I way off. I think a lot of us need to check our perspectives again and reverse our thinking.

Since the beginning of our journey, God has always been there. God and His grace. No matter what happens, God's grace will not and cannot be depleted. Otherwise, it wouldn't be God's grace.

So although it is true that the end of man is the beginning of God but even more so in saying that before our journey even begun, God's grace is already there...waiting for us.

It snowed today -- happy first day of spring!

(:

haha! Found this while stalking other people's blogs (::

Dear x:

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it When I tripped on sesame seeds outside of Chicago and I saw you ignored my avocado plant. I’m sure you’re ashamed enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I’m returning your ring to you, but I’ll keep David’s tricot outfits as a memory. You should also know that I will tell the authorities about hating the Boston Celtics.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
-w


I found this rather amusing.

RULES:
Do the “Letter MEME”. Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the “How-to” Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I’m sure you’re ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I’m returning ___8___ to you, but I’ll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What’s the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’ll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn’t match
Grey - You’re a pervert
Yellow - I’m selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You’re a loser
Other - I’m in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women’s clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What’s the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What’s the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United’s goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I’ve felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn’t exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we’re cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I’m allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I’m open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What’s the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David’s tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Birthday!

Happy birthday mother! You are well appreciated...even when we do not always show it. I'm sorry, it is not in my nature to express my emotions in such a way, but the love is still there. Definitely.

Sorry, I meant to post this on the 16th of March but I guess time slipped by without me noticing.

I've been slacking and become one of those people who rarely posts in their blog anymore. I will try to change that.


We judge if God is with us by how well we are doing - that is why there are ups and downs in our journey of faith. We change with the seasons. Instead of changing, let us look at the nature (Romans 1:19-20). God's already there. He will always be there. Then our faith will not change.

First Name Analysis

Came across this site and found it intriguing --

The 6-8-5 Name Combination

Unless there is imbalance in the rest of their makeup these people are intelligent and as clever as the best of them. They are quick-minded and able to perceive the flaws in others' concepts. Their minds scrutinize everything. It is the truth that is their motivating force.

They are free spirits who find themselves going contrary to almost everything and everyone else. If they are repressed in any way they can become rebellious or self-indulgent, and create chaos in their environments. These types can accomplish ten times more than anyone else because of their drive and fearlessness. They dare to be great and dare anyone who tries to stop them. If this force is not disciplined and directed, the frustrations can lead to self-destruction because of the inherent mental intensity.

This influence contains a profound mental capacity for analysis and deduction, always stimulated by their response to untruth. They are here to right the wrongs of humanity. Restlessness and change are integral parts of their lives. If there is no challenge in their work, change is impending. They work for and demand their independence. Their minds never stop cogitating about things. They are serious and worrisome and spend many sleepless nights playing the same mental tunes.

Their accomplishments, unfortunately, do not include the ability to find peace of mind. Only when their lives are motivated by a noble purpose or cause can they begin to feel a deep satisfaction in their work and in their life, otherwise they search endlessly for the elusive answer to life and their miseries. They will travel the world either literally or through books and learning in order to satisfy their insatiable desire for answers to their questions. They must understand that force that drives them or they will be driven to distraction.

Their creative impulse does not conceive any limitations when awakened. They draw from an energy that seems unlimited but definitely has its limitations when they push themselves too hard. Their deep sense of responsibility and commitment will drive them to a point of exhaustion. Sometimes it is only through pure physical exertion and exhaustion that they can induce a kind of relaxation that serves as a temporary relief from their worries.

This is a very mental or intellectual force that has a tremendous insight into things as long as it flows out of the strength of their independence. If they are thwarted in their efforts, their minds can become quite critical and their skepticism can blind them to the truth. Injustice can make them mad, and they are formidable fighters. They must learn the great truth: that answers come in the midst of the battle only when the fight becomes impersonal. It is truth that must be the focus and not getting even. If this influence is misdirected, the repression experienced will self-destruct in some form of indulgence.

Worry is their nemesis. They would do well to laugh more often. Their criticism of others can become quite intense and holding grudges could be a problem. Holding on to their problems mentally invariably leads to ulcers or other stomach problems.

------

Not sure if it's completely true but some points hit the spot (:

Remember me as...

Where do tears come from?

There are numerous characters in the Bible who have exemplified themselves as faithful Christians that we can learn from --

Abraham, the father of many nations, believed God and it was accounted to him for righteousness and he was also considered a friend of God (Jms 2:23)

Moses, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter and chose to suffer affliction with the people of God rather than enjoy the pleasure of sin, was also called by God as the humblest man at that time - more humble than all the men who were on the face of the earth (Num 12:3)

Uriah the priest and Zechariah the son of Jeberechiah were considered faithful witnesses to God (Isa 8:2)

David, who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness and obtained promises, was said to be a man after God's own heart in the Bible (1S a 13:13-14; Acts 13:22)

Tychicus, a worker long side with Paul, was remembered as a faithful minister by God (Col 4:7)

....and the list goes on.

Makes you wonder -- what would God think of me when my time comes?

I would imagine He would say something along the lines of...

You have done well in life. You have gone through many sufferings and tribulations and have tried your best to get by on your own; You need to rely on Me. You've tried hard to please everyone and worry about their thoughts but you forgot the most important person to please - Me. You try to hold too much inside and continually forget to let Me carry your burdens and therefore lack rest; for My yoke is easy and My burden is light (Mt 11:29-30)...

Maybe I would be remembered as the son that always falls short of His expectation.

But I still wonder...

Where do tears come from?